Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Other Things To Sleep With.

The scenario: Right side of queen-size bed, now vacated by spouse.
bed/storage space
Recently discovered storage space.

Replacements for breathing human being:
  • All blankets/sheets not currently employed
  • 900 page hardcover book I've lost interest in
  • Empty ice cream bowl
  • Laundry, not yet sorted/put away
  • Hammer, still unhung wall picture/clothes peg
  • DVD too lazy to put in player
  • Unread mail/flyers/brochures
  • Glasses, keys, cellphone, wallet, loose change, gum wrappers, other contents of pants pockets
  • Unrealistic To Do list for tomorrow (excerpt: Find new career)
  • Dog...forget it, pal. GET DOWN! Down! Down!
  • Pillows in various shapes and sizes
  • TV remote control to knock off bed while asleep, sending batteries flying

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